Sex Sells - The Old Adage #WriterlyWednesdays

Sex Sells - The Old Adage

There has long been the adage that sex sells. This has been used in the advertising industry a great deal and usually ends up sexist in some way or other, which is very frustrating. It is also used in fiction, be it written or other media and, in some cases, seems to have been crow-bared in just because.

We only have to look at 70s and 80s horror films for examples of this. How often does a young woman suddenly have her boobs on show for no apparent reason? Even Fright Night II did it and it wasn't even the vampires! Don't even get me started on the random 'let's have sex' scenes that strike out of nowhere - the forward button was invented for a reason.

And HBO have made a winning line-up by adding sex into their shows - sometimes well, sometimes not so well.

In written fiction it is the same. Some books seem to think they have to have some sex, just because it's the in thing, and it can be the most hideous addition in the world 😩. There is The Bad Sex in Fiction Award to point out just how bad it can get.

Here's something that some writers don't seem to get:

Good sex is hard to write.

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I know, this is shocking news to some, including some really big names. 😎

It's just like every other kind of scene - it takes practice to write well, and some are good at it and others aren't.

Here's another bit of news - we don't all have to be good at sex scenes, and fade to black can work just as well in some cases.

Personally, I like writing sex. Not gonna lie. It can be fun, but it's still hard to get right. I spent a very long time writing fanfiction (and still do), which is a fabulous arena in which to learn such arts because it's a very open and helpful place. Sex is also a mainstay. That is not to say all fanfiction is about sex or even has sex, but it is definitely not taboo and is usually very well received. Fandoms are also usually full of wonderful people ready to give advice on those first awkward scenes that every writer comes up with when it comes to sexy times.

And while mainstream porn is almost always geared to the male gaze, fandom spaces are very often geared towards the female gaze and those of a like mind. This tends to lead to very different output.

Now I'm not going to kink shame here or point fingers, but, from my point of view, sex should be sensual. When a scene is written along the lines of slot A and peg B (if you get my drift 😎), it could be Ikea instructions for all the interest it holds for me.

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And I've written scenes like that. Some of my first drafts come out like that and it's only the second and third edits that make them anything readable for me. Like I mentioned above, crafting a good sex scene is the same as crafting any other good scene - it takes times.

Also - research is our friend. We wouldn't write a scene about brain surgery without at least having a little idea what we were on about, and sex deserves the same consideration. Especially if we're stepping into an area that needs understanding, like BDSM *side-eyes Fifty Shades*.

I'll also admit that I have to be in the right mood to write a sex scene. 

There are two types of scene I have to be in the right mood for: 

• sex scenes
  and 
• fight scenes. 

Looking at it I suppose they are quite similar - usually two people interacting physically in close quarters 😂. If I'm not in the right mood my fight scenes turn our boring and my sex scenes aren't sexy. This, of course, can be rectified by editing, but usually I leave my sex scenes and fight scenes until the right mood strikes. If I'm lucky, reading similar scenes I have written before will actually help the mood to strike 😉.

Another big turn off for me in mainstream sex scenes are the wild euphemisms some writers come up with. Read it aloud people - if it makes us or anyone who hears it laugh, we've chosen the wrong word! Purple prose is not our friend at the best of times, and in sex scenes this is doubly so! If our rugged Highlander is suddenly thinking of his penis as a love-piston, yep, we're more than likely doing it wrong 😂.

So IMHO enjoyable sex scenes need the following things:

• sensuality (not just slot A and peg B)
• feelings (and no this doesn't have to be lovely-dovey stuff, but there has to be a connection between the characters even if it's just mutual pleasure or working off some stream)
• consent (note I said enjoyable above, and for it to be enjoyable, it has to be consensual)
• not purple (if anyone calls it a molten core, I will laugh)
• safe sex where appropriate (in some cases it isn't needed/appropriate, but when you have a modern setting with human beings, especially at the beginning of a relationship, safe sex is a great way to go)
• physically possible (check the details - sometimes what we see in our head is not what ends up on the page)

Oh and, just a tip, make sure your characters have taken their clothes off, or at least exposed the areas required. I did once write a sex scene and only my beta pointed out one of the guys had yet to take his trousers off. 😂

So, are you a fan of sex scenes, or do you prefer fade to black? Does a sex scene have to have certain broad elements to interest you? Did I miss anything off my list above?

If you're wondering why the sudden opinions about sex scenes, watch this space, some news coming soon.

S is for Sex - Blogging from A to Z April Challenge

Now sex is a tricky subject, but don't worry, I'm not about to go into detail about the logistics. What I want to talk about is sex's place in fiction.

I think far too many people are scared of sex in fiction when, in fact, it is simply another aspect of a plot. However I do believe there are some considerations when adding sex to a story.

Whenever I think about it I ask myself a couple of questions:

1. Why am I adding it?
2. Who are my audience?

Answering those two questions always lets me know if I am adding it because it adds to the story or if, actually, it would be better to leave it out.

Now I come from the background of fanfiction and one thing fanfiction is not scared of is sex. I would like to clear up one misleading idea that the press seem to have picked up because most of them have no idea about fanfiction. Fanfiction is not all about the sex. There are huge amounts of fanfiction that has no sex at all, not even any relationships. Fanfiction is simply fiction written by fans about a fictional universe created by another writer or, in some cases, real people.

Now most fandoms are not shy about sex, but they are usually careful about it. You will most often find that in fanfiction communities all fiction is rated and will give you information on pairings and warnings about content so that you can pick and choose what you like to read according to your own tastes. This makes it very hard to stumble in on something you don't like.

Many times it's not so easy with published fiction.

There are also many levels of sex in fiction:

1. Alluding to events of a more carnal nature.
2. Having the lead up and then fading to black.
3. Describing the acts in a less explicit way.
4. Describing everything with anatomical detail.

If I've answered the first of my questions to my own satisfaction then the answer to "Who is my audience" will often give me the level of description required.

The one thing I find most important in a sex scene is the characters. I have read far too many incredibly boring sex scenes, because they are all about tab A in slot B and not about what the characters are feeling and thinking. Having the characters not feeling anything and just going through the motions is a perfectly valid way to write a sex scene, however, there had better be a reason the characters are doing that or you will have lost me as a reader.

If they're doing the Sunday crossword in their head that's fine, it's adding to the character, but I like reasons for the sex, so if it's just sex without character input at all, I call it written porn and I'm not really interested. Some people might like that, and, good for them, but not me. When writing, I look at sex scenes like any other scene and if they don't add to the plot they get yanked out.

I've written fiction with no sex, fiction with kissing, fiction with semi-explicit sex, fiction with full on anatomical detail and what I have found is that it's like writing anything else. Research is important, but it's fiction, so it doesn't have to be totally real, and make it entertaining or your reader is going to switch off.

How do you perceive sex in fiction?

If you would like to check out any of my books, they are all listed down the side of this page and clicking the covers will take you to the full book listing for each on our company webpage at WittegenPress.com.

If you would like to see what all of my posts will be about in advance, click here to see my theme post.
My twin and I are also doing the A to Z Challenge over at our fantasy erotica blog: http://fantasyboysxxx.blogspot.co.uk/